(ORIGINALLY CALLED YÍNG ZHÈNG)
(260 – 210 BCE)
1. Punching Qin Shi Huang
Qin Shi Huang woke from his sleep as soon as the minimised Moti and Peter Gnome materialised in his comfortable bedroom. For a few seconds he pinched his massive arms. Still, he soon realised that his intruders had no physical presence. Otherwise, how could they have dodged the conscientious troopers guarding the entrance to his quarters?
“Why do you ride on his back?” he wanted to know after he observed us critically.
“Why ever not? Moti is my good friend and, truth be told, my legs tire much faster than his! So, he gives me a lift.”
“So, he is considerate. Obviously, he is not human,” summed up our host.
“Hear who is talking,” I challenged.
“I am Qin Shi Huang – founder of the mighty Qin dynasty. To use your vocabulary, if I showed consideration to Tom, I should have to treat Dick and Harry in the same way. As you ought to know, I am a Legalist: all fools are equal in my eyes. And, as far as I am concerned, everybody is a fool! Fools do not deserve consideration.”
“Aren’t there any exceptions to the rule?” asked Moti.
“Just one but, perhaps, Li Si (Li Shu) is the second.”
“Stop being clever, Yíng Zhèng. Surely, the captain of a ship of fools is the master jackass,” I proclaimed feelingly.
“Better than being a dock hand. And don’t you dare use my personal name. Today I am Qin Shi Huang – the founder emperor – to both foes and friends.”
“But how many friends do you have?” asked perceptive Moti.
“Need we enter into this?” asked a much-deflated Qin Shi Huang. Then, with a sudden wish to please, he tried to stroke Moti’s dwindled trunk.
“You can’t be touched,” he let his disappointment show.
“True; but I can touch you,” I advised and patted his flat nose.
“Master Kong’s disciples would be dismayed. You did to me that which I can’t do to you. And such an impious act does not make sense. It is stupid. Still, from where do you come?”
“Does it matter?” asked Moti.
“I want to know: so it matters!”
2. Postion Explained to Qin Shi Huang
Qin Shi Huang was amazed by my revelations. It took me a while to convince him that time travel was feasible and that the 21st century was just as real as his forgotten age. When I finished my explanation, he wanted to know why I had come to see him. My task appeared strange to him. Who was going to benefit from a series of punches? My decision to select him as a target appeared natural to him. He had no doubt about his place in history; but he wanted to know which of his achievements was the greatest. He realised that, when taken alone, none of them put him on a pedestal.
“Was it the Great Wall?”
“Not really. The pyramids were not dwindled by it.”
“The standardising of currencies, measures and scripts?”
“Not by themselves. Other great leaders realised the importance of uniformity.”
“What then?”
“The totality of your achievements. You unified a set of warring states into a single empire. And you ruled it with an iron fist. You even burned the Confucians and their books so as to nip opposition in its bud. And you gave your people uniform measures, characters and a set of splendid roads. But all was given and taken on your own terms!”
“I see: my intolerance and ruthlessness impressed you and others.”
“They did: a lesser leader would not have gone the whole way. Moderation or scruples would have been in his way.”
“They should not. And I ignored them. You see, absolutism and ruling by consensus are worlds apart. The philosopher-ruler is a mirage,” concluded my host.
“Nobody would say that of your type of absolutism. You were real; and the toughest.”
“I had to be. I governed on my own. And so I needed no consensus based on the views of lesser people. Still, I listened to the advice of my subordinates when I asked for it.”
He paused for a moment. Then he blurted: “But what am I remembered for – my necropolis?”
“Not so! Your burial ground was covered by dust accumulated over the ages. Towns were built on top of it. It was discovered by accident when some farmers dug into the ground.”
“So, what am I remembered for?”
“You unified China and left an everlasting effect on its culture and progress. True, Kông Füzî’s disciples did their best to eradicate your name from history. But they failed miserably. Still, they vilified you – dubbed you a tyrant and barbarian.”
“I was a tyrant but not a barbarian.” Pointing at Moti, Qin Shi Huang wanted to know my friend’s real size. It was clear to him that Peter gnome had been minimised. It followed Moti, too, had to be far more substantial in real life.
“The entire palace might collapse if he reverted to his real size!”
“Then we better leave well alone. In any event, you got what you wanted and you complimented me. So be gone, my good man.”
“Goodbye then: one day your necropolis will be unearthed. Farmers will stumble on your terracotta figures. I saw them: they are great.”
“I did not see them in place; but your words encourage me,” he summed up.