1. Meeting Eve
An adherence to the chronological order seemed a safe procedure. Accordingly, I went back to the origin.
Eve was an attractive woman in her mid-thirties. Initially, she was startled by our appearance but soon viewed the tiger with admiration. Theophil had shrunk him to the size of a Burmese cat. Having stroked him affectionately, she turned to me: “He is adorable. But who are you? What brings you here?”
“My name is Peter: one of your descendants. I’ve come to give you a gift.”
“This cute pussy cat?”
“I’m not a pussy cat,” protested Tiger.
Eve gazed with amazement as Theophil metamorphosed Tiger back to his normal size. To my relief, she was not frightened. Instead, she lowered herself beside the predator and tickled him behind the ears.
“So you are a real tiger. Fantastic! And you must meet my best friend: she is a tigress!” For a moment Tiger looked at Eve apprehensively. Then he turned tail and sped away.
“Why did he flee, Peter? I thought we were getting on famously?”
“He is allergic to lady tigers.”
“Oh, one of those … ,” she cut herself short as Tiger reappeared.
“What do you think of my speed?” he wanted to know.
“Most impressive, honestly. I’m sure you’ll win a marathon. But you, Peter, what have you brought me?”
“This,” I told her and punched her nose.
“You hit me,” she screamed, when she found her voice. “You are a hooligan: not a gentleman.”
2. Adam and Theophil Step In
“What is going on here?” asked a broad shouldered, tall and good-looking man, who had just returned from hunting.
“This nincompoop punched me in the nose, Adam,” complained Eve angrily.
For a few seconds, Adam took in the scene. He then rushed towards me. Dreading a skirmish, I stepped back. Tiger, in turn, arched his back and stood protectively by my side. Our fears, though, were misguided. Holding out his hand, Adam embraced me and congratulated warmly. I had carried out a design he had harboured for years. Still, he had not had the courage to go ahead.
“What’s the matter with you, Adam? For years, I’ve cooked your meals, washed your clothes, kept our cave clean and bore you two sons and a daughter. And now you shake the hand of this fellow! Is that how you show your gratitude?”
Adam stopped in his tracks. His expression, though, did not reflect guilt. He was, simply, out of his depth. I, too, was lost for words. How could I possibly explain to this striking woman my motivation for an act that appeared bizarre.
The situation was saved by the sudden appearance of Theophil. He looked sympathetically at Eve, bestowed a smile on Adam and then addressed me: “You better explain everything to Eve, Peter’le. She thinks you’re mad. You started by being nice to her. You introduced her to Tiger and then, for no apparent reason, you punched her nose.”
“So he did; and I thought he was a gent,” wailed Eve. As she raised her arms in protest, her nose started to bleed. Instantly, Adam offered her a piece of his loincloth, I proffered my handkerchief and Tiger looked at her with alarm. Graciously, Theophil produced an alcohol swab and stopped the bleeding.
“That’s better, Mr. Snake,” she told him. “But I still don’t see why he hit me. Was it because I partook of the forbidden fruit back there in Eden? You, Mr. Snake, persuaded me to go ahead. And, in any event, why was I not allowed to enjoy that lovely fruit? Do you now say that orders have to be obeyed blindly?”
“Of course not, Eve. People who obey orders blindly are often hanged or sent to hell.”
“So why did you assault me?” she turned to me. “Because I disobeyed that Old Fellow in Eden? Surely, He does not need your help! He can look after his own affairs.”
“Oh, I still miss Eden,” interceded Adam. “I had a wonderful time there. Occasionally that Old Fellow – as you call him – asked me to find names for the animals of his creation. That required a bit of planning. Still, for most of the time I just loafed about. It was Utopia! And here I have to work my guts out! Many good fruits were available in Eden: mangoes, bananas and grapes. Why did you have to taste that apple?”
“Because I fancied it!” Eve let her displeasure show.
3. Theophil Elaborates; The Almighty Opines
To nip the argument in the bud, I asked Theophil to show them scenes from Man’s long history: the bow and arrow, the thumbscrew, the pillory, the rawhide and many war instruments. He then displayed some of the Goya’s Horrors of the War. When he finished, Eve was aghast.
“But surely, all this has got nothing to do with me?”
“I am afraid it does. All of it was launched when you decided to take that fruit,” Theophil told her.
“But how?”
“You decided to exercise free choice. So, you disobeyed His orders. The rest followed when your descendents settled their own agendas. But don’t you fret. Your decision triggered off some beautiful things. Have a look.”
The screen now displayed the pyramids, the Acropolis, St. Sophia and the Taj Mahal. A series of beautiful paintings, sculptures and ceramics followed. An opera, exciting performances by philharmonic orchestras and some chamber music ensembles brought the show to its end.
“My disobedience had far reaching effects,” observed Eve. “But I still don’t see why you hit me, Mr. Hooligan. Are you a passive follower of rules?”
“Of course not,” I assured her. “I punched you because you never thought about the effects of your act. You just went ahead without thinking. The rest followed! Your act lost us paradise!”
“Precisely,” summed up my lifelong friend. “Still, existence in Eden would have been less exciting than life on earth.”
“Suppose you had foreseen all this, Eve, would you have gone ahead?” I addressed her with trepidation.
“I would, Mr. Hooligan – even if I had foreseen your childish prank!”
“But why?” I asked stunned.
“Because I wanted Adam,” she told me frankly.
“But you had me in Eden,” countered Adam.
“You treated me like a doll or a sister. That was not what I wanted.”
“You could have seduced … I mean, awakened … me in Eden!”
“With that Old Fellow snooping around incessantly? I am a lady, not a slut!”
A white cloud announced the arrival of He Himself. Far from displaying anger, He smiled at all of sadly but tolerantly.
“So, it was inadequate planning,” He sighed. “How could we have known that the sexual drive was incompatible with obedience or even reason, Matey?”
“We couldn’t, Friend,” agreed Theophil. “None of us has such an urge. Still, if you had not given mankind a sexual drive, the race would have perished. We’ve got to take the rough with the smooth.”
Tiger and I took our leave shortly after the two super-beings retreated to their own dimension. Before we left, Eve invited us to visit them again, provided I had no further inappropriate designs. I assured her I had none.